The Day I Died

Today I woke up to a heart-breaking message from my sister who reminded me of where I was 11 months ago.

It was the 25th of June 2014, I had just gotten paid and was leaving the office planning to go home. All I remember was me waiting to cross the road, William Nicol, next thing I know I was in a world I have never been in. There was no bright light, it wasn’t dark, I was in a grey world that felt like a waiting room. I knew my spirit was no longer roaming in planet earth but I wasn’t alone. Little did I know that I was hit by a car lying next to the aisle of William Nicol. I asked my Creator, well basically demanded, to not take my soul as of yet. I begged for forgiveness and the chance to for fill my purpose. I was not done with the world. I loved life too much for me to move on to the next chapter.

Finally I woke up, and a lady had covered me with a blanket and she kept telling me I shouldn’t move as my bones were broken. I couldn’t feel my entire right side. My colleague said “you’ve been hit by a car”…and all I remember doing at the moment was look up to the sky and said, “God, not now please.” I have no memory of the impact of the car crashing into me nor me flying up in the air. As soon as I pleaded for my life I felt pain I cannot describe. I passed out.

Next thing I know I am in the resuscitation room in the emergency section of Sunninghill hospital. The pain was unbearable; all I wanted was my mother. Next thing I was taken to Trauma ICU and that’s when I saw my family. Everyone was there. I cried. I didn’t want to cause them pain. I was afraid I would be in trouble. I didn’t want them to leave. All the pain medication they gave me didn’t work. As soon as my mom and sister held me the pain went away. All that was left was fear. Fear that I might lose my leg and arm.

I found out that I had broken my leg into two, the bone in my arm was crushed, my nerve was damaged, my lung had collapsed, my pelvis was fractured and a couple of days later after complaining about my chest I found out that my diaphragm had raptured including my liver which had moved and was sitting right next to the heart,

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Not even once did I ask “why me”, my only worry was would I walk and write again. Not being able to use my hand and arm broke me but still I fought for my life. I wondered how the woman who crashed into me slept at night. She didn’t care and I too don’t care anymore.

My family and friends were always there for me, all the way. It hurt to see them see me in that situation, not being able to move. I remember all the looks on their faces. I knew I had to get better. The world needed me. My brother, Monde would come everyday during lunch to feed me. My mom basically lived in the hospital and my sister made sure I got the best care a Bird like me could get. All my siblings came together, I’ve always known I was loved but this was overwhelming.

Every time I got a visitor I was excited to show them the little movement that I had in my hand. All I desired was to do the “sharp” sign once again. I was like a child. I had to learn everything from scratch, from writing to walking.

I spent just over 10 weeks in Trauma ICU; the staff couldn’t believe that I am alive. This made me stronger. I won’t lie, there were times I wanted to go back to the grey waiting room I was in when the accident happened. My family would call the hospital like crazy when they were not around to make sure that I was still alive.

I can never explain the pain I have been through nor will I ever forget the journey. Remember the story of Moses and his 40 days and 40 nights? Yeah well the 6 months I spent in hospital was my time in the desert. God wanted to speak to me, my world was so cluttered I understand why He had to pause it.

I learnt what true love is. I know what loyalty is.  I didn’t expect anything from my friends except their company but they went far and beyond. It wasn’t about coming to visit only, the phone calls and SMSes kept me going. I would like to thank a few people for being there for every step of the way. If I didn’t mention you it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate your love or support.

Akio, thanks for always pitching after my surgeries. Thanks for encouraging me to get out of the hospital bed. Elani, thank you for being my shoulder to cry on. You were always there, I thank you for picking up the phone and letting me ball out. I know the meds made me say some crazy shit but you were there every step. You are my brother. Caroline, my friend, thank you for being able to pick me up when I was down. I know you didn’t like to see me weak but you handled it all. Hahaha thanks for the earrings and Pantene, it helped my Kendrick Lemar look. Musa my sister and Sizwe, I thank you for being there every time I relapsed. Musa I appreciate you, thank you for laying your hands on me and praying for me. To Wisani, mgani I love you so much. Thank you for all the laughs and sweets. Mpho, Marcia, Princess and Ethel, thank you for the prayers and love you gave me. I don’t see you often but thank you for jumping when I needed you the most. Makere, you were one of the last people to find out but you were there as soon as you landed in SA. I thank you for reminding me that I am strong and destined for great things. You have a special place in my heart. To the AcidChimpMonks, thank you boys for being there for me. You guys didn’t fear my condition; we carried on working for our dream. You guys knew I would be back soon. I remember you guys carrying me when I couldn’t walk so I too can sit in the sun. Thank you for the music that helped me gets my groove while in physio. Coco hun, thank you for being there for me during your time in Europe and for not being scared to visit me in a psychiatric clinic. Thank you for being there and the ice lollies. Puna, my sister, I hadn’t seen you in years but you came when I needed my spirit to be lifted. You continue to care and I appreciate you. Oh, and Instro, gwala lam’ thank you for always being there and answering your phone at odd hours. Thank you for the teddy that kept me company. And to Sib, Chante and Mme Pretorius, I don’t know how I can show my appreciation. Chante, thank you for inspiring me. You are a gem. And to my new found friend Jenna, thank you for keeping me focused on recovery. I can’t compare myself to you but your strength is immaculate. You deserve all your hearts desires.

To my family, I thank you for everything,. My cousins, Kagiso, Andile, Sbo and little Khosi, thank you for being there almost every day. I love you guys til death and I promise I will make you proud one day. Oh, and of course that all expenses paid holiday is coming boys.

My recovery is a miracle. My life is for a purpose, one I still need to figure out and I am not dying again until I achieve it.

I thank God everyday that I am alive and able.

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